Throwback Thursday: Not-So-No-Shave Yankees Beard Ban

The Johnny Damon, moments after going extinct.

Happy Thursday, fine facial-haired friends! (And you lovely not-bearded ladies)

As many of you know, today is the final Thursday in the glorious to some, infamous to others, month of Movember, or No Shave November, the tradition of furry-in-your-face-ness that began in 1999 in Australia, and continues stateside to this day as a noble effort to raise awareness for men’s prostate cancer and depression. And I guess that, mustaches in particular, is what (the artist formerly known as) Prince was talking about when he coined the phrase “party like it’s 1999. Not to mention, (the artist formerly known as) Prince totally had a party ‘stache in good old ’99.

As you probably also know, if you have been hanging around Aerys for any amount of time in recent history, I have quite strong affectations to beards and mustaches of any kind. Which leads me to have an incredible bias when discussing one baseball team in particular. That is:

The New York Yankees.

Just look at all these bald chins. Horrid. Anyways.

» Continue reading “Throwback Thursday: Not-So-No-Shave Yankees Beard Ban”

Share

Monday Trade Roundup: Catchers And Center Fielders

There are ACTUAL FAKE BASEBALL GAMES happening! I am SO EXCITED.

  • The Reds and elite lefty reliever Sean Marshall agreed to a contract extension for 3 years/$16.5 million. Reds GM Walt Jocketty says that Marshall may take on the role of closer eventually.
  • Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek has decided to hang it up. Our Fenway Fatales have feelings about this.
  • Catcher Salvador Perez, who debuted with Kansas City last season, signed a 5 year/$7 million contract with the Royals. The contract includes three additional option years and a whole mess of incentives. In 39 games with the big club, Perez put together a .331/.361/.473 line.
  • Yadier Molina, Cardinals catcher, signed a 5 year/$75 million extension with a $15 million option for 2018. An excellent defensive catcher, Molina also put together his best offensive season to date in 2011, posting a .305/.349/.465 line.
  • The Padres and center fielder Cameron Maybin have agreed to a 5 year/$25 million extension, locking Maybin up through his first year of free agency. Though speed and elite defense tend to be undervalued, and Maybin’s offense is further suppressed by his home ballpark, this deal seems to be a winner for everyone.
  • Center fielder Andrew McCutchen will be a Pirate for a good, long time. The All-Star has agreed to a 6 year/$51.5 million contract with a $14.75 million option for 2018, similar to those signed by Justin Upton and Jay Bruce.

» Continue reading “Monday Trade Roundup: Catchers And Center Fielders”

Share

Monday Trade Roundup: Oakland Loves Outfielders Edition

Last Monday saw the deadline for exchanging arbitration figures come and go, which means a couple of things. First, we have a lengthy list of players who avoided arbitration with new contracts. And second, we have a whole new set of players to speculate about, now that the arbitration figures are out there.

Check out MLB Trade Rumors’ Arbitration Tracker to see who reached a settlement and who didn’t. I’ll also talk about some of the bigger still-not-settled names in the “rumors” section below.

Now: transactions!

  • Righty pitcher Vicente Padilla signed a minor-league contract with the Red Sox that would pay $1.5 million if he breaks camp with the big club. Padilla’s health issues limited him to nine games last season, but he plans to compete for a spot in the rotation.
  • Seth Smith, Avoider of Arbitration at the end of last week’s post, is now on his way to Oakland. The A’s sacrificed even more rotation depth, in the form of Guillermo Moscoso and Josh Outman,  for Smith’s bat, youth, and defense. He rounds out a revamped outfield.

» Continue reading “Monday Trade Roundup: Oakland Loves Outfielders Edition”

Share

Who Let The ‘Hawks Out?

Evan Longoria And Fernando Perez With Rayhawks. James Borchuck via TampaBay.com

It began with the team’s rebel, or the team’s clown: you know, the guy with a bit of an attitude, a showcase of tattoos, a slew of jokes, and a can of whipped cream in his locker. Most teams have at least one of these spunky characters, and it only fits that his big personality sport the haircut to match his attitude. And even though his hairstyle may go covered, be it by batting helmet or cap, it still leaves an impression among fans and teammates. The distinguished coiffure is now familiar to baseball fans. It is the mohawk, and its younger brother, the fauxhawk, and these two trending trouble makers have swept like a storm through dugouts and bullpens across the Big Leagues in recent years. Who knew that America’s favorite past-time would one day embrace a symbol of her counter-culture?

Today we will take a look at some of the most beloved (and sometimes- most despised) ‘hawks of Major League Baseball, starting with the historic Tampa Bay Rays in 2008, whose teammates (and manager!) beat the September heat by chopping off their curly locks for much cooler ‘hawks. This club was whole-hair-dedly devoted to a style which has been thus dubbed the Rayhawk. The Rayhawk, a scaled-down buzzed rendition of a traditional mohawk one might see in the mosh pit at The Casualties show, is the perfect solution for a mohawk that must fit under a batting helmet or ballcap. Tampa Bay boys known to sport the Rayhawk include BJ Upton, Edwin Jackson, Jonny Gomes, Fernando Perez, Eric Hinske, Akinori Iwamura, and basically, the rest of the line-up. Eventually, even Rays’ manager Joe Maddon did the ‘do, a symbolic gesture to unify the team.

Currently, the Rayhawk, and new evolutions of the style, can be seen making a steady comeback in Tampa Bay. None other than the previously bearded and be-hawked newcomer, Johnny Damon, sports a fine fauxhawk, a style bent like Beckham’s, a mohawk variation that comes to a point in the middle, at the crown of the head, but without the shaved sides of traditional ‘hawks. Much like he can be traced to the resurgence of the beard in Major League Baseball, Johnny Damon, to my knowledge, is the father of the mohawk in Major League Baseball. He is the spikey catalyst that started it all; a true trend-setter of various hairy occupations.

The Detroit Tigers Show Off Fresh 'Hawks. Reuters via Daylife.com

Another team who succumbed to this mohawky madness was the Detroit Tigers of 2010. There is a connection here: to the aforementioned influencer Johnny Damon, of course. This MoTown bunch immediately embraced the mohawk. Over ten Tigers teammates went under the razor in between games during a doubleheader against the Yankees (a team well-known for discouraging such acts of hairy expression). Damon may have been the muse for the Tiger’s sudden follicle-frenzy, as he flaunted a ‘hawk of his own before these clubhouse shenanigans played out- but he claimed no responsibility.

Who more fitting to fashion five fauxhawk’d crowns than the Royals of Kansas City? The club’s bullpen adopted the fauxhawk earlier this season, as well as clever nicknames to match. The Royal’s ‘hawk roster includes: red-head Nate Adcock (Redhawk), Aaron Crow (Crowhawk), Hawaiian Kanekoa Texeira (Alohawk), vertically challenged Tim Collins (Minihawk), and African-American Jeremy Jeffress (Blackhawk). Word on the street says Royals’ closer Joakim Soria coerced the rookie arms to don the hawkdo’s as a hazing stunt, but the boys say they wanted ‘em. Either way, they rock their hawks. » Continue reading “Who Let The ‘Hawks Out?”

Share

All-Beard All-Star Team

John Axford of the Milwaukee Brewers recently announced his Moustache Legends All-Star Team Roster. Axford’s bristly picks were perfect, but beneath their whiskered exterior, there was a giant beard-sized void. That’s right, Axford, by nature a moustache aficionado, did not nominate any bodacious beards to his team of ‘stached stars, which leaves the tickling task to the ladies at Aerys Sports.
With no further ado, fans of beards and baseball, I am pleased to announce your All-Beard All-Stars:

Dave Martinez (coach)

via zimbio.com

Dave Martinez is the clear decision for the All-Beard coach. Martinez is bench coach for the Tampa Bay Rays, where the climate reaches uncomfortable (and sticky) levels of heat and humidity; but even the weather fails to stop Papa Beard from letting it all grow out. That level of dedication (and woolliness) is precisely what an All-Beard Team needs to look up to.

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny Damon

 

via msnbc.com

Fans of beards everywhere found the silver lining to Red Sox Johnnny Damon’s outfield collision in 2003, which yielded a concussion and jaw injury that prevented the Cave Man from shaving for many months. Unfortunately, this facial hair fable has a sad ending: when Damon signed with the New York Yankees in 2005, he was forced to shave his magnificent mane, due to the club’s strict (and spiteful) anti-beard policy. This controversial team switch (and coveted beard) inspired the timeless cry of Boston fans: “Looks like Jesus, acts like Judas, throws like Mary.”

 

 

 

 

Sergio Romo

 

Getty Images

Sergio Romo’s wonderful whiskers score bonus points for the All-Beard squad, because the Giants‘ Romo rocks a scrupulously sculpted combo– the full-facial beard and moustache combo. Think of Romo as the Extra Value Meal of the team: you wanted a hamburger (or in this case, an awesome beard), and the kid at the drive-thru gave you a soda and fries with that (or a mighty moustache).

 

 

 

 

» Continue reading “All-Beard All-Star Team”

Share