I’ll try to keep this short, since it is the Thanksgiving Day party and all that fun stuff. So, instead of explaining what is wrong with the team, I figure it would be good to describe what kind of parade balloon the team would be. Yeah it’s lame, but deal with it!
1. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-9 record)- The rough season continues for Jacksonville and now they’ll make the move toward Chad Henne at quarterback after Blaine Gabbert was put on injured reserve Wednesday. Now obviously, the parade balloon float Jacksonville would likely be is a quarterback. However, I haven’t figured out what kind of quarterback it would be. I’m open to suggestions though.
2. Kansas City Chiefs (1-9 record)- The Chiefs lost to Cincy on Sunday and that makes it seven straight. Just not a fun time in Kansas City. To make it more fun, Brady Quinn will start this Sunday against Denver. The parade float the Chiefs would be is none other than Scott Pioli…staring at you…The balloon also listens to the conversations of all the parade-goers.
3. Cleveland Browns (2-8 record)- Ahh yes Cleveland! They went to overtime with Dallas, but still lost. It doesn’t get easier for them on Sunday as they play the Steelers. The parade balloon to best describe the Browns would be the Dawg Pound fans, or at least the fan with the dog mask. Also, the dawg has a severe case of indigestion and is slightly inebriated. So chances are, the balloon will run to the bathroom before the parade is over.
4. Philadelphia Eagles (3-7 record)- Oh Eagles! You just can’t win these games can ya? It’s all falling apart. The parade balloon thing writes itself. The balloon is Andy Reid chasing a running clock. Get it! Because you know…
5. Arizona Cardinals (4-6 record)- Let’s be honest, Carolina should be #5 on this list. However, Arizona has lost six straight games. To make matters worse, Arizona will be going with rookie quarterback Ryan Lindley this week. This comes after Lindley went in for a struggling John Skelton in the loss to the Falcons. As for the parade balloon, Arizona’s balloon would be a…well…balloon! Come on, you think the Bidwell’s would spend money on a nice parade balloon?
Most of them are lame, I know. But hey, deal with it. If you have something better, then feel free to discuss it while passing the gravy.