Oh hello! It’s finally (or only, depending on how your week is going) Wednesday. Let’s blitz!
That’s Michelle Obama Kaepernicking, with Colin Kaepernick. AMERICA!
Speaking of American Idols, it was announced yesterday that Carrie Underwood will replace Faith Hill as NBC’s Sunday Night Football singer.
The biggest part of this news, according to NFL.com, is that Underwood’s first regular-season appearance on the show comes before a Dallas Cowboys game, home of her ex, Tony Romo. We Americans love our drama.
And what’s more dramatic than ex-NFL players being arrested, and then arrested some more?
3. That’s how many times ex-New York Jet Cliff Harris has been arrested in the last 9 days: a marijuana charge, a fight with his girlfriend in the Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot, and finally, arriving late in court because he was stopped for a speeding ticket. It’s safe to call this a downward spiral.
2. That’s how many times ex-Detroit Lion Titus Young was arrested in the last 15 hours: a DUI charge and then a burglary charge when Young tried to steal back his impounded car. Was he still drunk?
1. That’s the number of misconducts ex-San Francisco 49er Jose Cortez had, causing him to lose his job with the Oregon State Police. Cortez is accused of fondly a woman while she was pulled over on suspicion of a DUI.
Well, that’s depressing. Here, have a picture of Tom Brady holding a goat:
Thank you, random guy on a Patriots chat board, for pointing out that Tom Brady might be afraid of GOATS, not GHOSTS, as Steelers safety Ryan Clark claims. You saved me five minutes on Paint, drawing a really terrible-looking ghost next to Tom Brady. What’s that, you want me to draw this anyway? Okay:
Happy Wednesday everyone!
Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. She would like to see a goat Kaepernicking, but her Paint skills are obviously not up to the task. You can follow her on Twitter @ebritter2.