The Dolphins swam through the impending hurricane to face the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium this Sunday, winning 30-9. Didn’t even need their floaties.

QB Ryan Tannehill was 2 of 5 for 18 yards before being sidelined with an injury (hyper-extended knee plus thigh bruise). Backup Matt Moore stepped in without any hiccups early in the game and threw 11 of 19 for 131 yards and was only sacked once. He threw a touchdown to Anthony Fasano in the 3rd quarter.

Kicker Dan Carpenter was consistent, scoring in the 1st, 2nd and 4th quarter. Defensive end Olivier Vernon also had a good day, recovering a blocked punt attempt in the endzone for a touchdown in the first quarter. The Dolphins were ahead 20-0 at the half and the Jets never had a chance to come back.

Dolphins cornerback Jimmy Wilson blocks the punt

Special teams came up big, blocking a Jets field goal and recovering an onsides kick. The Dolphins defense also dominated, sacking Jets QB Mark Sanchez four times. And because you’re wondering, yes, Tim Tebow was there, rushing once for 2 yards at QB. You can check out our Jets coverage here.

The (4-3) Dolphins won their third straight game and are now half a game behind New England in the AFC East. They face the Colts next Sunday.

Finale time! I know you’re dying for some hard-hitting evaluation, but on this last review, I’m going to let the pictures do most of the talking. Just pretend you’re watching the episode with me.

This picture is everything I wanted from Hard Knocks this season: tattoos and ice tubs. Thanks super-fast Clyde Gates! Sadly, he’s traded to the Jets. Just when a girl starts to like a playa!

REALLY? Jarrell Root, your bromance with Chas fizzled because he was cut and you immediately move on to Isaako Aaitui? I guess the guy’s got some sweet guitar skills, but it seems a little sudden. I can’t stay mad at Root for too long though because he’s hilarious, and gets a lot of air time. Sadly, after an injury in the final preseason game, Root is waived. Aitui’s fate is similarily unlucky as he is traded to the Jets (and, this isn’t on the show, but he gets injured and waived too). Hard Knocks clearly has something against bromances. Maybe they’ll start a band!! » Continue reading “Hard Knocks, Episode Five Recap”

Episode four is all about CUTS. CUTS and getting lost at sea.

I’d be wrong not to mention couches again, and this time, it’s GM Jeff Ireland’s Miami-blue couch that gets all the attention. Let’s call it the Firing Couch of Doom. (That’s veteran Eric Steinbach with him who, despite being a crowd favorite last episode, chooses to retire.)

It’s a good thing this show only has five episodes, because by the end of this episode, the Miami Dolphins have cut nearly all their main characters. At this point, it’s not just bad luck that the Hard Knocks producers are highlighting players who will later be cut; they’re obviously doing it on purpose now (got to find a story line somewhere I suppose). » Continue reading “Hard Knocks, Episode Four Recap”

(Recaps for Episode One and Two here)

Do you guys remember that TV show, Big Comfy Couch? Because Episode 3 is clearly paying homage to it with all the time we spend on Coach P’s couch.

Couch highlights of this episode:

We learn there is a vast difference between how the rookies act, and how the veterans and leaders on the team act. The episode begins with Reggie Bush, Karlos Dansby, and Jake Long meeting with Coach Philbin (on his coach of course) to form an unofficial leadership club to create better communication between the players and coaches. They’re like the Mutant Ninja Turtles, sans Donatello (Chad Johnson) who was already fired. Smartly trying to keep the shells on their backs. Raphael (Reggie Bush) who had been relatively quiet all season, makes it clear throughout this episode that he’s in Miami to personally grow and lead the team. He does not specify if he wants to lead against other mutant aliens, but it’s implied.

My favorite veteran however was the only guy to sit in Coach P’s chair rather than on his couch. Eric Steinbach has been in the NFL for a while, and knows how to honestly talk to the coaches. It’s all refreshing straight-forward talk in these two meetings:

Finally, the news you’ve all been waiting for via the couch: Ryan Tannehill pulls ahead in the QB race over Matt Moore. Pat Devlin is also introduced as the new 3^rd string QB but doesn’t get to sit on the coach because of it.

Highlights not on the couch:

The preseason game against the Panthers was a loss but did feature a touchdown drive by Tannehill, lovingly narrated by a miked Offensive Coordinator Mike Sherman on the sidelines, who called the drive “like giving birth.”

While the rookies have not yet reached Mutant Ninja Turtle status, they do throw a mean talent show, and I liked that they’re willing to laugh at each other, and more importantly, themselves.

Emily’s Bottom Line

A good episode, but I have a few suggestions. If you’re going to play “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” during warm-ups, don’t be content with a few guys singing along. I want a flashmob next time. Yeah, I see you guys with your neat footwork, step it up a notch and DANCE! And finally, if you’re going to use glamorous Miami songs in a montage, always go with Will Smith. Always.

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides and clearly grew up in the 90s. Follow her on Twitter @ebritter2.

This episode was a vast improvement over the last. Why? THIS:

Slow-motion, shirtless O-linemen, right after a fight with the D-linemen. I asked for more tattoo shots, didn’t I? Thank you HBO.*

 Quick character updates:

Coach Philbin is such an awkward dad. Les Brown still can’t block. Chris Hogan is the new star, nicknamed 7-11 because he’s open all night.

The QB’s: They finally show David Garrard’s baby!!! And then two minutes later, he’s injured and no longer the starting QB. Rude. However, through all this, David G stays super positive and could definitely teach some of the other plays something about having a good attitude.  Ryan Tannehill is not a terrible singer, and his wife continues to be hot, but bumps it up a notch and volunteers Ryan to sign some stuff for Special Olympics, so women everywhere can’t hate her. Matt Moore’s baby is not shown and he remains adorably oblivious to most things.

Chad Johnson. This is what you’ve been waiting for: the car wreck you can’t look away from. He gets fired after head-butting his wife, and we get to watch it happen. (It should be noted that he keeps it together really well…and has a lot of nice shoes).

Emily’s bottom line:

The pacing was better in this second episode and there were a lot of good personal stories mixed in with the training montages. However, the slo-mo cheerleaders dancing in the rain shot we could have done without. This rainy scene provided the best line of the show however, when Mrs. Ryan Tannehill says, “this is dedication” while watching her man play in the preseason game. Dudes with sports tattoos and glass eyes everywhere snort in derision. And final bottom line, white pants are awkward.

*Double thanks are in order when the players continue their tradition of doing each other’s hair. More inappropriate than adorable this time, but I’ll take it.

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. Follow her on Twitter @ebritter2. 

I had pretty big expectations of this season’s Hard Knocks. I wrote a whole post about it! (To recap: beaches, naked Ocho, bromance, cheese). Now I feel it’s only right to watch the 2012 Hard Knocks, featuring the Miami Dolphins, and review it for you. Will it live up to my high expectations?

 Episode One

The Recap (of my emotions):

Five minutes in and I’m both giddily pleased and about to cry. Pleased because the Miami-themed intro fit several of my demands: an ice tub, bikini-clad girls running on the beach overlaid with Dolphins players running on the field, a grunt-filled workout montage. Sad because this show just started and already a rookie with funny hair* is being sent home. Each subsequent cut will hurt my heart just as much. But this show isn’t created for women who become emotionally attached to sports players, no, I’m pretty sure it’s made for MEN. Because let me tell you, there is plenty of cursing, fighting, and visor-wearing manliness to go around.

 The Players (that I, after some prodding from the producers, decided to care about):

The Starting Quarterback. There are options: so there’s Matt Moore, the veteran who watches The Bachelorette and has a NEW BABY. Ryan Tannehill is the rookie, he only has dogs and does not discuss his TV viewing habits. Guess who I’m rooting for? (Hint: I like babies) There’s also David Garrard who earns the top QB spot on the depth chart (for now) but doesn’t get his baby highlighted (I had to Google him to find out he even had a baby! Shoddy work, HBO, just shoddy). Baby:

 The Random Guy: Les Brown. Les is in here for all the dudes on their couches who played high school football and think they can play in the NFL, because that’s just what Les is doing. Favorite Les moment? When his significant female other shows up to tell him she watched practice with binoculars and he tells her she looks hot. Okay, that makes him sound kind of douchey, but ultimately we like Les and are rooting for him to make the roster. I mean, just look at this cute picture Google gave me:

The Class Clown: Chad Johnson (formerly Ochocinco). By this point, we all know what happened to Chad, and we feel terribly sorry for him when he says “no player wants to go out a joke.” Then we feel even worse because it turns out, he and the wifey met on Twitter, where they first hated each other. Then, last season when Chad wasn’t playing so hot, she wouldn’t let him score until he scored. So are we really surprised by how this turned out?? Bonus points to Chad for suggesting that if football doesn’t work out, a career in porn might. Foreshadowing?

My critiques (other than the slightly absurd masculinity of it all- so many hot wives and cheerleader shots)

This episode was almost longer than a football game. The glamour shots of the field as if it were the Amazon jungle were unnecessary. We all know what a field looks like. There was also a lot of talking without anything being said, and it was at times painful to watch. Coach Philbin, just tell Chad to stop swearing in press conferences, don’t talk at him for five minutes about proper language, and how to make curse words have meaning, and your door’s always open, and GAH is this talk over yet?

Emily’s Bottom Line

Episode One lived up to about a quarter of my lofty expectations and dragged on a bit, perhaps because I am not the intended viewer demographic. Episode Two, famous for Chad’s firing, better pick up the pace or I’m in danger of becoming one of those fans who leaves in the fourth quarter, or this guy (yep, of all the things, I decided to take a screen shot of this rookie sleeping:)

*Best part of the show? When the rookies had a slumber party and dyed each other’s hair. Adorable. (see above)

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. Follow her on Twitter @ebritter2.

Quite a few news tidbits to talk with you about … let’s get to it!

* Brian Banks was exonerated last month after serving five years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Banks’ accuser admitted she had lied about the alleged incident. Since then he’s been trying to fulfill a dream he thought would never be possible … to play in the NFL.

Banks has had work out privately with the Seattle Seahawks, San Diego Chargers and the Kansas City Chiefs. He’ll take part in a three-day rookie mini-camp with the San Francisco 49ers. The Vikings, Redskins, Falcons and Giants also have inquired.

Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll believes Banks, who has been away from football for 10 years, needs to get himself in better shape before his dream can become a reality.

So what is Banks doing?

According to FoxSports.com,  Banks will begin working with noted trainer Travelle Gaines this week. He also has done MMA-style training with FOX NFL insider Jay Glazer, who works with several NFL players at his Las Vegas gym.

Here’s a little more on the comeback Banks is attempting.

Next?

* Plaxico Burress wants to play for the Carolina Panthers. Unfortunately that feeling is not mutual. At. All. Burress’s skills appeared diminished last season as he just wasn’t as speedy and couldn’t break away as fast as he had in the past. Is his body still trying to recuperate from a 22-month prison stay… maybe, maybe not. But, as long as his skills are still weak, it certainly is a dark spot on his resume to continue his NFL career. Here’s a little more on Burress.

Next!

* Ryan Tannehill is getting to rep time with the Miami Dolphins first team offense. After David Garrard and Matt Moore have seen the most time, Head Coach Joe Philbin is pleased with the progress being made by the organization’s first round draft pick. Philbin said the QB’s work will need to pick up in the two-minute drill, as he’s thrown interceptions during practice. Here’s  a little more on Tannehill.

Next!

* Randy Moss looks to be a starting receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. What? I’m telling you the truth! See… Yes! After a year off and a ton of work this off season, Moss looks to have landed a starting role with the Niners. NFL.com was certain to note the practices Moss has participated in have been no-tackle and the press hasn’t covered the practices. But teammates insist Moss is an incredibly positive teammate. So… we shall see how things progress the closer we get to the season. Sounds like things could get a little interesting! Read more on Moss here.

Miranda Remaklus is lead writer for Aerys Offsides. She’s also a contributor at Aaron Miles’ Fastball in the MLB section. Follow her on Twitter, @missmiranda. 

For those of you who don’t know, Hard Knocks is an HBO and NFL Films reality TV series that follows an NFL team through training camp. It’s narrated with the same  dramatic overtones of every show on Animal Planet, interspersed with dramatic music and awkward pep-talks. There’s nothing to not love.

He was the eighth overall pick by the Miami Dolphins in the 2012 NFL Draft. That’s correct! Today’s Tight End Tuesday is Ryan Tannehill.

Tannehill is a graduate of Texas A&M. He started 20 games for the Aggies and served as team captain during his senior season. In his career he threw for 5,450 yards and 42 touchdowns. He rushed for five touchdowns and even caught 10 touchdowns. No surprise this versatile player was considered the third best quarterback in the draft behind Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III.

Tannehill met his wife Lauren while at A&M. They were engaged in May 2011 and married in January while on a trip to Mexico. Another little tidbit about Tannehill, he received his bachelor’s degree in biology from A&M in May 2011. He had planned to become an orthopedic surgeon. At least he has a pretty good fall back if this quarterback thing doesn’t work out!

Ok… enough talking! I know you’re here for pictures. This is Ryan Tannehill!

» Continue reading “Tight End Tuesday: Ryan Tannehill”

Miami Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross

It’s not everyday that a fan gets to tell the owner of his favorite team that he’s missed several opportunities to make his team better.

But Jason Lawrence, a longtime Miami Dolphins season ticket holder, got to do just that with Dolphins Owner Stephen Ross on Friday.

Make sure you’re seated and don’t gulp your coffee when you read some of what Mr. Ross had to say.

That’s a fair warning, my friend!

Dolphins CEO Michael Dee set up the conversation between Ross and Lawrence, who had been interviewed by the South Florida Sun Sentinel while participating in a fan protest outside the Dolphins headquarters last week.

So here’s what Lawrence found out from Ross:

- Brandon Marshall was going to be released by the Dolphins had they not traded him to the Chicago Bears. » Continue reading “Monday Mix: Dolphins Owner Lets Fan Know What’s Up”