As you well know, I like to start off my Wednesdays with a little young QB action. And today is no exception.

Andrew Luck vs. Colin Kaepernick: who would win in a fight?

Okay, that’s not actually what this article is about. Instead, it asks which QB is superior, especially looking down the road. But be honest, now you want to know who would win in a fight.

No money, mo’ problems seems to be ESPN’s theme this week. According to reports, ESPN is laying off as many as 400 employees to increase profit margins. Luckily, some of our favorite ESPN writers have already demonstrated that they possess certain “skills” outside of “writing about sports.” This includes Rick Reilly’s poetry (now graded by a seventh grade teacher!) and Darren Rovell’s tweets (and even better, all the replies Rovell’s tweets get – which now have their own Twitter account!).

Speaking of money, the NFL granted a $200 million loan for construction of the new Atlanta Falcons stadium yesterday. This NFL.com post says “The Falcons received the money Tuesday at the NFL Spring Meeting” and now I’m just picturing Tony Gonzalez carrying around briefcases full of dollar bills.

While at their annual Spring Meeting, the NFL also awarded upcoming Super Bowls to San Francisco (2016) and Houston (2017).

Additionally, the NFL discussed more “humane” ways to handle player cuts, which I, as an emotional consumer of Hard Knocks, completely agree with!

And finally, in random news: Tony Romo had a cyst and Microsoft is bringing it’s technology to the sideline…and beyond!

Happy Wednesday! As a special bonus, enjoy this post about the 20 Types of Depressing Sports Fans.

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. Her 7th grade poetry was excellent. Follow her on Twitter @ebritter2.

What’s that, it’s Wednesday already? Sorry I didn’t notice, I was too busy staring at this:

In case you’re blind, that’s 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick. Now might be a good time to join Instagram or start saving money for ESPN’s Body Issue.

I’m definitely ready for football season now. So is the NFL, apparently, as they released the preseason schedule yesterday.

ESPN is also ready for football season (and not just because it can show more shirtless players). Yesterday, they announced a new show to start in August called “NFL Insiders” which focuses on NFL news stories and information. So basically what I do here, but with less shirtless men? The catch is that former players and coaches aren’t allowed in the treehouse on the show. NFL32 has been cut to make room for this insider take on the league. (How many times am I allowed to mention shirtless players before my non-existent football guru status is revoked?)

What are NFL players allowed to do since they can’t be on ESPN’s new show? They can become boxers! At least that’s what former Minnesota Vikings/Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Ray Edwards did. In this interesting interview, he asserts that boxing is actually safer than football. His ideas sure do pack a punch.

That’s right, some of us don’t discriminate in our usage of former NFL players. Bonus points go to anyone who can read what that belt says (it’s not “6 pack” because I already tried that).

Because it’s Wednesday and you need something to get you over the hump, I’ll leave you with two links. One is for shirtless football players on Tumblr, as this Blitz has taken a drastic turn in that direction. And the second is for the Tumblr “Sports Balls Replaced with Cats” which is exactly what it sounds like:

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer for Aerys Offsides. She never tweets about shirtless athletes (yeah right!) at @ebritter2.

Welcome to Wednesday morning absurdity!

Let’s start off with one of my favorite QBs, because he always does news-worthy absurd things early in the week, just for me.

Yes, I’m talking about RG3. SORRY! According to a snippy remark by Dan Snyder, it’s Robert, not RG3. (Can we pause for a second and comment on how well he rocks a headband? Just look how jealous that guy in the background is!) RG3 (what? we are on a nickname basis, he and I!) did not show up for his appearance at the White House Correspondence Dinner, or the elite pre-dinner party with the president. The worst part? Bradley Cooper was there too! Talk about a dream date.

Speaking of incorrect names, the D.C. council is preparing to introduce a bill to change the name of the Washington Redskins to the Washington Redtails. While I’m all for a transition to something politically correct and unoffensive, I’m not sure this will get the necessary team and fan support. After all, D.C. isn’t a city known for its flexibility.

Not to be out-done by D.C., Atlanta recently unveiled some of its own potential changes. Namely, a new Falcons stadium which doubles as an alien landing pad:

Tweet of the week time!

I can’t even say anything snarky about this. It’s too perfect.

Did I say the word perfect? You probably heard  the words “Tim Tebow” instead. Apologies for taking so long to get around to our my other favorite overly-hyped QB! The big news yesterday (other than that whole lingerie league thing) was that an indoor football team, the Omaha Beef, offered Tebow a whole $75 a game to play for them. Let’s be honest, beef is not what’s for dinner here.

And because no Wednesday Morning Blitz is truly complete without a silly video, here’s John Green (writer and soccer fan extraordinaire) critically analyzing animals interrupting sporting matches.

Happy Wednesday, and DFTBA.*

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer for Aerys Offsides. She’s obsessed with cows and you can find her lamenting over the lack of Te-cow nicknames on Twitter @ebritter2.

*Don’t forget to be awesome

In homage to last Wednesday’s post, I’d like to start this post off with Robert Griffin III.

RG3 IS #1!!

…#1 in single-season jersey sales that is! This data is based on sales on NFLShop.com. Here’s the full list:

And because I know you’re curious, the San Francisco 49ers finished on top for team sales (for the first time in over 30 years!) You can find all that data and more here.

In crazy-exciting news, Atlanta’s media has the power to bring NFL players back from the dead.

The power of the press! You can find more snark on the subject here.

And now for your DAILY LOL.
The best apology to come from an NFL, ever:

Alright let’s double-or-nothing this DAILY LOL! Kevin Kolb says ”I’m here to win a Super Bowl.” (Here being Buffalo.) My first reaction was “WHO? and WHERE?” but my second reaction was “HARD KNOCKS! Please put this guy and the Bills on Hard Knocks!” Keep your fingers crossed!

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. She’ll be recapping Hard Knocks for you again this season, so get excited. You can follow her absurdity on Twitter @ebritter2.

Hey Everyone! Happy Monday! Sit back with your favorite morning beverage and check out these links to help kick start your day.

Flacco Is Chatty Chad Y’All

The NFL’s newest millionaire and Super Bowl MVP quarterback, Joe Flacco, was interviewed by USA Today at Kurt Warner’s Flag

Joe Flacco. The Elite One.

football charity event in Arizona. He had quite a lot to say and since he’s making the big bucks now, USA Today listened!

On Anquan Boldin not accepting anything less than he’s worth: 

* ”Without him, we don’t win the Super Bowl. He’s a huge part of this team and someone I want to see back. Obviously, when you’re a player of his caliber, you believe you’re worth a number and that’s what you should get. He’s going to stick to his guns, and that’s the way it should be.”

On Getting Paid:

“This league is about going out and performing and playing well and having fun doing so. But it’s also our livelihood and it’s about getting paid. So teams are going to let go of you as soon as they can. So when you’re playing, you have to make sure you can get as much money as you can because that’s what’s going to take care of your family down the road.”

On Ray Lewis’s leadership style:

* ”Oh, it’s funny. His speeches come from the heart, but there’s definitely times where I’m sitting there kind of chuckling to myself. It’s all good. There’s nobody that’s more passionate about what he does than that guy. So you just sit back and take it all in, but there’s times where he says some stuff and you’re like, ‘Man I don’t know what that meant, but I like how he said it.’” » Continue reading “Monday Morning Blitz: Flacco, Gronk And More”

Everybody seemingly expected the 49ers to win this game, but very few truly expected it to be easy.  It most certainly was not.  A long touchdown on the Falcons opening drive on a pass from Matt Ryan to Julio Jones set the tone early, a Matt Bryant field goal put them up 10-0 after 1.  Colin Kaepernick and the 49ers offense sputtered from the get-go, amassing -2 yards of total offense on their first two drives.  This game suddenly looked very similar to the Falcons game versus the Seattle Seahawks the previous week.  A spectacular 20 yard touchdown catch by Julio Jones early in the 2nd quarter made it 17-0, and the 49ers found themselves in a very deep hole.

The offense finally began to pick up some momentum as Kaepernick involved Michael Crabtree and finally Vernon Davis, LaMichael James carved up the Falcons defense for a 15 yard touchdown run to get the 49ers on the board.  They got the ball back again after a solid defensive showing, and Kaepernick an co. drove from their own 18 for another touchdown, this time to Vernon Davis for 4 yards.  Kaepernick had his only real run which went for 23 yards down the left sideline.  Vernon Davis also took up a big chunk with a 25 yard catch.  It was now 17-14 as the 1st half was winding down.  The Falcons ran an extremely efficient and effective 2 minute drill, capped by a touchdown pass to Tony Gonzalez to put the Falcons back up by 10 going into the half.

The 49ers had won the opening toss and deferred to the second half, so they got the ball at the beginning of the 3rd quarter and made the most of it.  Passes to Randy Moss and Delanie Walker, with some strong runs by Frank Gore in the middle led to a Gore touchdown from 5 yards out to make it 24-21 Falcons.  The scoring slowed down significantly from this point on, Matt Ryan was intercepted by Chris Culliver on the ensuing drive, and the 49ers were poised to finally catch up to the Falcons with a David Akers field goal.  As we all know Akers has struggled badly this season, and the faithful were just hoping he’d have the fortitude to put one through from 38.  But as the Fox replay showed, all he got was a loud clank sound when the ball hit the left upright.  If the 49ers lost a close game, Akers assuredly would be the goat.

With a chance to regain the momentum the Falcons drove down the field from their 28 to the 49ers 28 when Matt Ryan took his eye off the snapped ball for just a fraction of a second, just enough for him to lose control of the ball.  Aldon Smith pounced on the ball to regain possession.  The 49ers drove down the field once again, and looked poised to punch it into the end zone and finally take the lead, but Michael Crabtree couldn’t hold onto the ball less than a yard from the goal line.  A vicious hit to the back by William Moore jarred the ball loose, it was recovered by the Falcons and the 49ers had yet again failed to break through.

The 49ers defense had finally begun to come together as a unit, and forced a huge 3 and out by the Falcons.  Ted Ginn, Jr. ran back the punt for a 20 yard return to the Falcons 38.  The 49ers were already in business.  They stuck to the ground game, attempting to not only take the lead but perhaps bleed a little bit of the clock out in the process.  Runs from Frank Gore, LaMichael James, and Anthony Dixon in a clutch 3rd down situation got them in position.  A Kaepernick pass to Crabtree set up Frank Gore’s second TD run of the game to finally give the 49ers the lead.

The Falcons made a good attempt to strike back, but needing a touchdown their drive stalled in the red zone on a 4th and 4 when NaVorro Bowman deflected a pass from Matt Ryan over the middle.  At this point it was up to the 49ers to whittle down as much of the remaining minute plus, they didn’t make much progress though and failed to get a 1st down that would have ended the game.  Andy Lee punted and the Falcons had one last prayer to steal this game, Matt Ryan’s pass over the middle was caught by Julio Jones but he was wrapped up quickly as the clock hit :00.

The key to this victory has to be the reemergence of Vernon Davis in the 49ers passing attack.  His 106 yards receiving with a touchdown was easily the best showing he’s had since the first game Colin Kaepernick played against the Chicago Bears.  He’s such a weapon he couldn’t possibly be held down any longer.  Colin Kaepernick will now make his 10th career start in Super Bowl XLVII, guess Harbaugh made the right choice huh?

So the 49ers are headed to their 6th Super Bowl and await the winner of the AFC Championship Game taking place as we speak between the New England Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens.  For now though they get to relax and celebrate their NFC Championship.

Credit to KCRA via @Kaepernick7/Twitter

Nobody said it would be easy.  Despite the 49ers being 4.5 point favorites on the road against the number 1 seed in the NFC, this game is not shaping up to be an easy victory.  That spread is the worst ever for a number 1 seed playing at home (of course the only way they wouldn’t be at home is in the Super Bowl).  This game seems to be trending higher and higher  in terms of the over/under, which sits at 48.5.  I would take the over, this will be a battle.

Matt Maiocco of CSN Bay Area stated on 95.7 The Game Thursday that it looked as if everyone on the 53 man roster would be good to go for Sunday, it’s all hands on deck.  Of course the key member of the team in terms of health is defensive end Justin Smith, he was solid last weekend against the Green Bay Packers, enough to still occupy a double team from the offensive line.  Although it didn’t spring Aldon Smith loose like he had earlier in the season, the 49ers defense looked very good against the Packers tough passing attack.  Of the 31 points the Packers scored, only 17 can really be pinned on the defense.  Seven points came from the pick 6 and extra point in the 1st quarter, and another seven in garbage time near the end of the game when it was all but over.

The defense will need to be on its game once again tomorrow in Atlanta.  The Falcons have probably the most potent WR tandem in the NFL in Roddy White and Julio Jones, and they’ll get their catches undoubtedly.  Carlos Rogers and Tarell Brown will have to get physical with the receivers, including slot man Harry Douglas, in order to keep them from making the big plays that helped get the Falcons out to a 20 point lead against the Seattle Seahawks in the first place.  Rogers normally plays the slot, but we may see him move out wide to match up against one of the two dynamic targets for Matt Ryan.  Another intriguing matchup to watch will be Patrick Willis covering Tony Gonzalez.  In the latter part of his career Gonzalez has continued to show what made him one of the greatest tight ends in the history of the NFL and a sure fire Hall of Famer.  Willis can cover just about any tight end, but Gonzalez is able to make catches that he has no business making, when he doesn’t look open at all.  If the 49ers can shut down Michael Turner though, that might make everything else the defense tries to do that much easier.

On the offensive side Colin Kaepernick is coming off an historic and record setting performance against the Packers, and he will be capable of doing much the same against the Falcons.  Establishing the run with Frank Gore, and opening up the field with Randy Moss and Michael Crabtree (more on him in a moment) will be crucial to keeping up with the Falcons potentially high powered offense.  The x-factor in all of this is Vernon Davis, who seems well overdue for a breakout game.  If Vernon is able to make catches in the middle of the field, and use his size and athleticism to make plays he’ll remind us all just how unstoppable he can be.

The San Francisco Chronicle reported last night that Michael Crabtree was under investigation for sexual assault, after an alleged assault occurred in a San Francisco hotel room just hours after the 49ers victory against the Packers last weekend.  At this moment he hasn’t been charged with anything, and is with the team in Atlanta and is expected to be fully ready for the game tomorrow, but that seems rather insignificant in this context.  The 49ers certainly hope this doesn’t become too much of a distraction for the team.  Crabtree has never been a “character guy” so misbehavior isn’t shocking, but this is way out of line and the team will have to take a closer look at him in the coming months as this investigation carries on.

For now though, the 49ers look to go “Kaepernicking” all the way to New Orleans and Super Bowl XLVII on February 3rd.

This weekend is one of the big ones on the NFL calendar!

It’s Championship Sunday and the games will decide who we see in Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans.

The first game on tap is the San Francisco 49ers at the Atlanta Falcons for the NFC Championship.

It’s the Niners rookie sensation quarterback Colin Kaepernick vs. Atlanta’s seasoned veteran QB Matt Ryan, who actually won his first playoff game ever last weekend when the Falcons defeated the Seattle Seahawks. While Ryan has a decent passing game and does know exactly who to pass off to to get some yardage up the middle, Kaepernick can do all that plus he isn’t the least bit afraid to run the ball for yardage or score a touchdown himself.

 Loading ...

The game will be on at 2 p.m. Central Time on Fox.

Next up, is the AFC Championship pitting the Baltimore Ravens and the New England Patriots.

Baltimore has played with quite the chip on their shoulder this postseason. Taking down the Indianapolis Colts in dramatic fashion and the Denver Broncos, almost as if they were the ones all the experts were predicting to win it all in New Orleans. Joe Flacco hasn’t played like Joe Flacco. He’s played like a real pro. And Ray Lewis. Well … it’s as if no one, especially his team mates, wants to see  his last game as the NFL’s most feared defender.

And the New England Patriots. Well. They are the Patriots. Led by cool, calm and collected Tom Brady and a fiery band of backs and receivers who will smash, bash and run over anyone to get the ball Tom passed to them to the endzone. It’s Tom Brady. He’s been in the league and in this position many times. Can he continue his ways and lead the Pats to another AFC Championship win?

 Loading ...

The AFC Championship kicks off at 5:30 p.m. Central on CBS.

I’m not sure any of these mascots would have made it to the championship round if it was up to me.

Luckily, there’s this thing called the NFL that doesn’t take mascots as seriously as I do.

But that’s not going to stop me from this MASCOT SHOW-DOWN, now is it?

On the NFC side, we’ve got the 49ers vs. Falcons. Is there ever a situation where this might happen? Maybe a falcon could accidentally mistake a gold-rusher for a large chipmunk? Or mistake the gold panning equipment for a particular shiny fish and then BAM, battle? Okay, it’s a stretch, which is making it rather hard to declare a potential winner. I’d like to think that a human could defeat a bird, but birds can be terrifying. Especially if that bird is a falcon at a Renaissance Fair.

It’s so terrifying! Just give the win to the Falcons!

On the (hopefully less nightmare-inducing) AFC side is Ravens vs. Patriots. Because this scenario is as likely as the last one. Maybe the Ravens are trying to mate with the feather stuck in Yankee Doodle Dandy’s cap?

I spoke too soon. It appears a young Tom Brady is being attacked by a large black bird, Alfred Hitchcock-style. Give the win to the Ravens before they come for you!

In conclusion,

I really want a bird vs. bird Superbowl.

Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. She has lived with several ornithophobes which she finds cruelly hilarious. Follow her on Twitter @ebritter2.

After 15 seasons in the NFL, Tony Gonzalez finally won a playoff game.

For that reason, the Atlanta Falcons’ Gonzalez is today’s Tight End Tuesday!

He was the 13th overall pick in the 1997 NFL Draft by the Kansas City Chiefs. Tony was traded to the Falcons in 2009. He is the first tight end to catch 1,000 passes. He is a 13 time Pro-Bowler and a 10 time All-Pro.

Check out Tony’s career numbers.

Receptions 1,242
Receiving yards 14,268
Receiving average 11.5
Receiving TDs 103

Impressive, right!

To say he deserves this might be an understatement. The Falcons have a tough test this weekend in the NFC Championship as the Falcons take on Colin Kaepernick and the San Francisco 49ers.

OK, I’m sure you’re tired of the words … let’s get to the pictures!  » Continue reading “Tight End Tuesday: Tony Gonzalez”