It’s another edition of NFL Shopping Fun. But before I get started, I’d like to clarify something. I’m not making any suggestions that you should buy this stuff. That is not my intention. This is about showing you all the crazy and strange stuff that can be purchased. It doesn’t mean you should go out and buy it now. What you do with your money is your choice. But don’t let anything I post here sway you. I’m not, nor is Aerys Sports, responsible for your impulsive tendencies. That said, if you do choose to buy this stuff, please let me know so I can laugh at you and call you an idiot.
As we search around NFL Shop Zone, let’s take off to San Diego, home of Ron Burgundy and lots of other stuff. In the tools section of the Chargers shop zone site, you will find not one, but two tape measures. The first one, which you can get for $22 (shipping and handling not included), is a San Diego Chargers Tape Measure.
Some of the features it has includes a 25-ft powder coat black tape measure and it’s designed with a metal team medallion.
Now the other one, which is $2 cheaper, comes in a camouflage style. This tape measure still stretches 25 feet, but it’s plastic. Now the tape measure itself isn’t technically camouflage. Rather, the medallion on the side, with the logo has some tree branches and a pine cone.
Now I’m sure other teams have these tape measures, but hey I’m picking on the Chargers for this one. So if you’re worried about losing your tape measure in the forest: A) Don’t worry about it and B) What the hell is wrong with you and why are you carrying a tape measure in the forest to begin with?
We next head to Pittsburgh for the NFL Shop Zone search. If you’re like me, you probably don’t eat breakfast. But if you’re smart and not like me, you probably do. So Steelers fans I ask you this: Do you like toast? Do you like the Steelers? Well now you can get a toaster with the Steelers logo on the side!
For $40, you can own the Pangea Pittsburgh Steelers ProToast Toaster.
From NFL Shop Zone:
The retro-style appliance leaves the mark of the squad’s emblem on every piece of bread. It also features adjustable settings and can accommodate 2 slices of bread.
Now this can be an issue for families. But how can you say no to the idea of the team logo being marked on your toast? Please don’t ask me if it works on Toaster Strudels or Pop Tarts because I have no clue. If somebody wants to spend the $40 and test it, go right ahead. I can laugh twice then!
Side note: There are other toasters for other teams. But I’d like to at least pick on all the teams at some point.
Over in the eBay section, we do have a few interesting items that have been for sale there.
First up, we have something special for you Denver Broncos fans out there. For $2, you can purchase a set of fingernail tattoos!
According to the package, they’re easy to apply, easy to remove, waterproof, lasts for days and safe and non-toxic. Please note, these are not for children ages 3 and under. There have already been a couple that have been sold, which really does surprise me. Just an FYI, I’ve seen other NFL teams with fingernail tattoo packages on eBay. So there is more than one.
We go back to San Diego once again for this item. It’s an aftershave from AVON. A Decanter Wild Country, or something like that. According to the seller, it is new and hasn’t been open. You can buy this for $50. Now maybe you want it and maybe you don’t, but 60 percent of the time, it works every time.
Finally, we have an interesting item from the Dallas Cowboys. For $275, you can own stained-glass art of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. It’s 12×18 1/4 in sized and framed in zinc for sturdiness. According to an owner, the artwork is from a photo taken during the 2010 NFL season.
This is still a new thing, as mentioned in the previous edition. But if you have any ideas, please send them my way. You can reach me at my Twitter handle @Oh_No_Romo.