Is everyone okay?
(steps over bodies)
I think we’re all okay. For now. But not matter WHAT happens today, DO NOT let anyone hug you! God only knows what will happen today. As @mproper said on Twitter this morning: “I saw a helmet nachos helmet full of human ears!”
So I was at the game last night, and, I have to tell you, it was pretty hilarious. Players just kept disappearing from the game, and we had no idea why. It wasn’t until a cab back to Union Station in the 9th inning that I started getting word of what was going down.
So let’s recap:
- The Cubs sent Paul Maholm, Reed Johnson (SNIFF!!), and cash considerations to Atlanta for Jaye (lame spelling) Chapman and Arodys Vizcaino. (Seriously? Arodys? That looks like a typo. . .).
- Vizcaino, who entered the 2012 season ranked by Baseball America as the 40th-best prospect in MLB, had Tommy John surgery this spring. The 21-year-old posted a 3.06 ERA with 9.3 K/9 and 2.6 BB/9 in 97 innings for three Braves affiliates as he made his way through Atlanta’s minor league system in 2011. The right-hander reached the Major Leagues last year, posting a 4.67 ERA with 8.8 K/9 and 4.7 BB/9 in 17 relief appearances.
Chapman, a 25-year-old right-hander, has a 3.52 ERA with 10.1 K/9 and 4.9 BB/9 in 53 2/3 innings of relief for Atlanta’s Triple-A team so far in 2012. The Braves selected him in the 16th round of the 2005 draft.
- Meanwhile, on the manscapey front, the Cubs also sent Geo Soto to the Texas Rangers in exchange for Jacob Brigham.
- Brigham, a 24-year-old right-hander, had been pitching at Double-A Frisco. He has a 4.28 ERA with 8.4 K/9 and 3.3 BB/9 in 124 innings over the course of 21 starts this year
In other news last night, Alfonso Soriano joined the “People who would rather play for the Cubs than have a chance to win at baseball” club last night, blocking a trade that would have sent him to the Giants.
This means that, as of this morning, Dempster, Soriano, Garza and Brett Jackson (?) are reportedly still on the block. Jackson was pulled from his game in New Orleans last night, presumably because he was called up to Wrigley. However, late last night, Carrie Muskat tweeted that Cubs fans shouldn’t expect to see him at Wrigley any time soon. The plot thickens.
We’re getting more details this morning on what a two-faced jerkoff Ryan Dempster is. This morning on 670 the Score, Mully and Hanley stated that Dempster reportedly told players in Atlanta that he was ready and willing to make the move there THE LAST TIME THE CUBS PLAYED THE BRAVES. That latest rumor is that Dempster won’t approve a trade anywhere but LA. Have we decided yet what exactly is IN LA that makes him so hell-bent to go there?
If Dempster makes his start tonight, he’d better bring a thick skin and some ear plugs.
On the Matt Garza front, both the Reds and the Jays have expressed interest.
Carl and I are hunkered down in LOHO Trade Deadline HQ, and we’ll be closely monitoring the situation all damn day. Or at least until 3:00 pm CT.
Let’s all hold hands, huddle together, and hope for the best.