Tired of the Cubs not making a big splash in free agent signings? Sick of hearing the names of no-name prospects bandied about (well, I mean, they HAVE names, we just aren’t familiar with them)? Ready for the Cubs to go out and make something happen?
How does the idea of Jeff Keppinger at 3rd base grab you?
Seriously–that is the rumor I woke up to this morning. And promptly got into a twitter argument with one of my co-workers over. This wound up being one of those arguments where I vehemently argued that I DID NOT WANT JEFF KEPPINGER AT ANY COST, and started pulling stats and split stats and looking for analysis on the EVIL, SOUL-SUCKING JEFF KEPPINGER, WHO MUST BE KEPT FROM THE HOME TEAM CLUBHOUSE AT WRIGLEY FIELD AT ALL COSTS.
And then, like, 45 minutes into the conversation, I realized that I kind of don’t care if the Cubs sign Jeff Keppinger. I mean, he’s not exactly Mike Schmidt, but he’s not Ian Stewart, either. And ever since Stewart proved to be a whiny cry baby on Twitter, I’m kind of over him. So bring on Keppinger. Bring on Dallas. This is Mike and Papa Bear Halas. Or something.
As I’m sure you heard, Manager Dale Sveum continued to initiate all his Brewers bros into the Cubs frat house:
The Chicago Cubs are adding former Milwaukee Brewers slugger Rob Deer as a staff assistant, to work alongside hitting coach James Rowson.
Deer will serve in the same capacity as Mike Borzello and Franklin Font, helping prepare players for games but not being in uniform with manager Dale Sveum, Rowson and five other coaches during games.
Deer’s hiring hasn’t been announced by the Cubs but was confirmed by a team spokesman Monday.
At least they have the decency not to trot him out there during games. At this point, I’ve pretty much concluded that 98% of hitting coaches are completely worthless. If I ever hear one of them say anything other than “His timing is off,” I’ll consider revising that assessment. More importantly, what would a Cubs frat be called? Kappa Upsilon Beta? Lambda Omicron Sigma? Discuss.
Finally, and apropos of nothing, if you haven’t read this hilarious take-down of Liz & Dick, you are are really, really missing out.